I was meeting with a friend who was concerned about, what she finally called “Control Issues.” She wants to know everything about what is happening in our church and has a deep desire to see that everything runs well. She doesn’t want to micro manage. In fact, she doesn’t have a history of that. She doesn’t want to take over or run the shop. She simply loves our church and has wonderful solutions toward making our ministry even more effective. As we talked, it dawned on me that she was struggling with the difference between having control issues and being controlling.
Having control issues means you have concern about many things and you think you have the best answer to fix any problem. Being controlling means you act out on those opinions by taking over, usually at the detriment of the person in charge. Having control issues can be good – being controlling is mostly bad. So how do you keep your control issues from turning into being controlling? Here are 5 ways:
1) Change your perspective and see that your concern can be a good thing. If it doesn’t come from a desperate need to feel important or popular, you may have some great ideas! If you have opinions about a lot of things, it may also mean that you are wired to be a good leader if you can think before you speak or act.
2) Accept the fact the you don’t always have the best answer. I’ve had to grapple with this one. I my pride, I think that my solution is the perfect one. Often times, my answer is only the start and it takes my team to really come up with the best solution.
3) Ask yourself if you have the right to dive in and take over. Sometimes, in very rare cases, it may be good and necessary to jump in but only when your responsible for that area. Most of the time, controllers are looking over the fence at other people’s business and break that boundary by offering opinions when they are not asked for or welcomed.
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