Chick Magnet
Help me write my sermon!?!
I am doing a series that kicks off two weeks from Sunday called “Chick Magnet”.
It is all about men trying to understand a woman’s needs.
The series will also cover what God’s word says about who we are supposed to be as men.
Obeying God’s word concerning our role as men leads to a natural attraction that will make for healthier marriages and relationships.
So ladies this is your chance to help write this message to the men.
What is your greatest need in order of importance, that makes you feel loved and safe?
It could read something like this:
“I love my husband the most when he…”
“I feel most neglected when he…”
You may use a fake email address and name so as to protect your identity.
I look forward to learning and sharing your insights.
Oh and for the men in our readership, we will be doing a series following this called “Foxy Lady” and I look forward to getting your insights and sharing them as well.
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22 Comments
October 7, 2010 at 9:15 am
Hey Hey Hey! A subject that I know a lil something about!
I tend to feel that I am really “loved” when he takes care of the little things in our daily life. From running around to get kids, to making sure that I have the things I need (which can be ALOT) to function daily. Hank is very good about the little things that seem to clog up our daily lives and that in turn becomes a VERY BIG THING!!!
October 7, 2010 at 10:05 am
Women are very emotional creatures. We feel the most loved when we are being pursued, feel respected, and when we are emotionally filled back up. I always compare women to atm machines… we can only give out so much money before we need to get replenished. when we run out of “money” watch out!
October 7, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Wow thanks Pursuit is a huge deal and I love the ATM machine I may use that
October 7, 2010 at 11:40 am
Great stuff Ladies!
October 7, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Sorry Chris but I don’t think there is one answer to your question. Women are all very differnt. Some emotional – others practical; some independent – others crave togetherness; some like to shop – others like to save….etc, etc.
In addtion to being different, our answers to your questions could change over time and with shifting family dynamics.
Good luck with this series. I’ll check back to read your wisdom.
October 7, 2010 at 5:11 pm
That’s great insight BEth I am not trying do create a master key, just some different types of keys, your wisdom is so true every woman is different and different at different times in her life, so I’ll lob the question back to you.
At this point in your life, what does your husband do, and makes your want to love him more tomorrow than you did today?
You can reply anonymously if you’d like
October 7, 2010 at 3:02 pm
It is the little things that means the biggest things, like:
Holding my hands in the early morn in prayer. Rubbing my shoulders when I am doing the dishes. Looking at me and saying those 3 words, “I love you” without speaking. Still having fun after 20 years like: slug bug game when we are riding in the car, or holding hands in public, or…ok this may be gross but…farting LOUD in public and blaming it on me! AHHH, but it lets me know he cares and we can still have fun…lol…LOL
October 7, 2010 at 5:12 pm
That is awesome, I’m glad you appreciate his FIP’s fart’s in public!
October 7, 2010 at 4:38 pm
For me it is listening to me when I need to talk. I mean really listening not just shaking your head up and down as if you are. Being able to put yourself in my shoes and understand where I am coming from. It truly is about things that do not cost anything for me. Giving of yourself………PRICELESS!!!!!!!!
October 7, 2010 at 5:14 pm
So empathy is a big deal?!?
October 8, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Absolutely!
October 7, 2010 at 4:59 pm
The little things are the ones that count most. Always, always, kiss me good night. You never know if you will wake up to see tomorrow. Never forget to tell me you Love Me. Showing compassion when you I’m feeling bad and Im trying hard to be positive. Trying not to forget why we got married in the first place and how important it is to work to stay that way. People give up to fast, The grass is definantly NOT greener on the other side, you wanta see green then plant your seeds deeper. Watch them grow and its so much cheaper than divorce.
October 7, 2010 at 5:16 pm
So true I have always said if the grass is deeper, its because there is more crap (mature)
October 7, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Or if the grass is greener you should be watering your own grass some more. I think I saw that on twitter once…
October 7, 2010 at 11:08 pm
That is such a great line, I am 99.87% sure it was Mark Driscoll.
October 7, 2010 at 5:18 pm
It is very important for women to know they have been heard. I don’t want my problems, rants and raves (rational or irrational) analyzed, broken down, and solved….Most times, I just want to be heard and have what I’ve said be validated.
Bob and I have made date night a priority in our marriage. Regardless of what is going on, we make time for each other. He is this chick’s magnet…
October 7, 2010 at 5:44 pm
That’s agreat men always want to “fix it” we can’t help it it is in our nature, however, when we try to “fix it” it comes across to often as we are not listening, We have to learn to draw out the concerns instead of hearing a small part and offering our advice on how to fix it.
When your Husband-gets it right give me an example of the dialogue.
October 12, 2010 at 3:18 pm
There is no set dialogue…He doesn’t try to fix what is wrong – he listens, offers opinions, agrees with me that some things just stink real bad and there isn’t anything you can do about it. He also affirms me, regardless of the circumstances, he helps me to see that my circumstances don’t define who I am. He doesn’t say….”well you should do this…” or “if you had just done that…” or “I would have done such and such…”
Those are phrases that (to me) suggest that he thinks I’m not capable of handling a situation and I need a “rescuer” or someone to tell me what to do. I don’t want a “dad” telling me what I coulda/shoulda/woulda done. I want someone who can listen without judgments and help without being condescending…
Our date nights help us to focus on each other…we talk about stuff before it gets to the boiling point. I love our date night.
October 7, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Quality time !!!!!! And that doesn’t mean spending money, making BIG adventure plans or taking elaborate vacations….. Talking about things is so very important (like you did when you first met). Likes and dislikes, dreams and fantasies, mundane and important issues ! Talking WITH each other and not TO each other. Talking without the feeling of being judged or “0ne-up’d” !!
October 7, 2010 at 6:16 pm
I am 23 and as a young person, I love to know that my significant other is fired up about Christ. That is always the most important thing to me, and most people (esp men) seem to be so shy about it. Let me know!! I love to know how much people love our Lord and Savior.
October 7, 2010 at 7:38 pm
It absolutely is the little things, like when I ask him to get milk and when I get home, he actually GOT the milk. Telling me I’m pretty, or he likes my outfit, not just “assuming” I already know he thinks I look great…afterall, you know what assuming does. Sometimes men are quick to say, “not digging that hair cut” or “are you wearing thhhattt?” but forget to compliment and say something nice! It is so easy when you have been married a while to take each other for granted…i would be THRILLED if he would call me up and ask me on a date…doesnt have to be a fancy dinner, we could do the $ menu and take it to the beach and watch the sunset. TRULY it is the little things that mean a lot. Sure I like “things” but I would take what I just described above, over a new dress, or another piece of jewelry. Last but not least, one my greatest joys is seeing him with our kids, nothing makes me happier then to see him being silly, wrestling around, playing catch, that scores major points to see him being a good dad, not just being a “provider” but being so much more. Hope this helps!
October 7, 2010 at 11:06 pm
One of my greatest needs is this: I need to fight my own battles. If something happens, he encourages, uplifts, edifies and then lets me handle whatever it is. That lets me know that in his eyes I am smart, confident, and capable. And if he believes that of me, who am I to believe (or act) otherwise?